Working with kids means waking up to something new every day. You never know what’s going to pop out of their mouths, and if you’ve worked with ESL or EFL kids, then you know that some of the things they come up with can be absolutely stunning.
Upon seeing me wearing my glasses for the first time, one of my seven-year-olds screamed in shock, “It’s a Grandpa!”
After reading a story about Julius the pig, I asked my third graders whether they’d like a pig as a pet. One student responded, “Yes, because Julius is so fat!”
Me: “But why would that make you want to have him as a pet?”
Student: “Because he might get stuck in the door.”
Me: “Why would you want that?”
Student: “Because I could climb up his tail and over his back and slide down his head.”
Me: *Gives up and goes back to teaching
I just don’t understand kids sometimes.
A very young student of mine once went on a long, difficult to understand, winding diatribe about a toy that he wanted from the grocery store. My coworker and I listened politely for several minutes before my coworker finally cut him off and said very impolitely, “Listen, I can’t understand a thing you’re saying.”
The very young student responded with a long dramatic sigh before exclaiming, “That’s because you never listen!”
It was such an adult sentence out of such a tiny child!
When asked to come up with a question for the word, “what,” one of my third-grade students looked me up and down, then pointed at my shoes, and asked, “What are those?”
I gaped at her, convinced she’d just savagely referenced a meme at my expense, but she just turned coolly on her heel and went back to her seat.
One day in a Czech kindergarten, I introduced the Ostrich Game: a game where two students each hold a flashcard on their back. Then they must run around in circles and try to see the others’ flashcard. A boy and a girl were playing the game and leaning over to see each other’s card.
A tiny girl sitting next to me pointed at the two in the middle, leaned over to me, and whispered conspiratorially, “Romantica.”
And I about died of laughter.
If you’re a teacher, let me know some of your funny kid stories. Working abroad can be rough sometimes, but working with amazing, funny kids definitely makes the days go by fast. I love hearing the ridiculous things kids say and do, so comment below!